“God, I thank you that I am not an Evangelical Arminian. They drive me insane, filling churches with false converts and talking only about Man’s Free Will, ignoring Your sovereignty over all. They swallow up any teaching without discernment and don’t care about systematic theology.
“But I have my shelves full of textbooks about doctrine, and I study them hard, as often as I can, and make it a point to talk about my favorite parts with everyone I meet. I avoid pastors who talk too much about human choice and don’t make sure to clarify every single time that really it is God’s choice anyway. I read only nonfiction and don’t need to expose myself to impractical things. And I listen only to expositional sermons about favorite Scripture passages.”
“God, I thank you that I am not another Hyper-Calvinist Automaton. They divide churches, are unloving, and ignore the fact that you are Omni-Benevolent. They claim you rule over everything, even sin, making us robots. They don’t witness. They ignore All These Other Verses.
“Thanks to you I know we must do almost anything, including pleading and playing emotional music, to get people to choose to be saved. We have the freedom in grace to hold church services that absolutely cannot be without altar calls and begging for people to decide, lest we have Their Blood Upon Our Heads. And we take confidence in the fact that if we accidentally make a choice outside your will, we might be lost and angsty about it for the rest of our lives.”
“But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Jesus Christ, Luke 18: 13-14